DOG

Hairy angels, each and every one.

What do you mean “see Spot run"?

Oh, I bet you thought this would be fun

Well
Now you've thrown my ball

I shall not give it back at all

Unclear if this dog was actually named Spot but he sure was having a blast with that ball.

HISTORICAL NOTE

Humans have enjoyed a long (more than 14,000 years according to latest research, which you can check out via this link) and fruitful association with our canine companions. I’ve myself written a short story about domesticating wolves, which you should check out here.

Although in that time a number of innocent sandwiches have been pilfered by canny hounds. The cost of doing business I suppose.

I could write multiple essays about how much I love dogs and how great I think they are but, since brevity is apparently the soul of wit, I’ll just treat you all to one anecdote about French Emperor Napoleon I (him of the wars and the Joesphine and that Ridley Scott film everyone but me seemed to hate).

Ok so by 1814 he’s been exiled to the frankly stunning Italian island of Elba but, because waging total war on the rest of Europe was basically his whole thing, he decided to long off his exile (which was actually a really sweet deal but never mind) and set sail for France so he could invade Belgium and fight the battle of Waterloo, which he summarily lost.

The moment of his leaving Elba was actually captured in painting form, which is below but also is on display at the palace of Versailles, just outside of Paris.

What is not captured in the painting is the story that, once Napoleon had plonked himself down im the rowing boat to get transported to a bigger ship to sail to France, he decided to gas himself up a bit more and promptly fell into the sea. Despite the sea in fact being in sheltered harbour, Napoleon was fat and posh and couldn’t swim.

Luckily for him an 1800s goodboy in the form of a Newfoundland dog (which are weirdly popular in Italy for some reason) just happened to be knocking about.

It wasn’t this particular Newf, but it probably looked very similar except with more slobber and that wet, salty smell dogs get after they’ve been in the sea.

Anyway said Newf hopped into the water and, using its webbed paws, thick double coat and strong but gentle bite, rescued the flailing Emperor, dragging him back to land so he could try the whole boat thing again and go on to wage vicious and bloody war and cause the deaths of tens of thousands of people.

Thanks, I guess. I hope someone got a dentastix for their efforts.

Here’s another photo of a Newf, since they are pleasingly large and hairy.